As any father would, one man would daily ask his daughter what she’d learned in school for the day. Since she was still only in grade school, he assumed he’d be regaled with stories of the ABCs and learning the value of sharing. You know what they say about assuming, right?
Well, any man with a daughter sometimes dread certain things for his daughter to learn certain things. Well, correction, A NUMBER of certain things. Anyway, despite the fact that most would prefer it if these things came later rather than sooner, the facts of life dictate that these events will indeed come, and some will come before others. Let’s all just hope and pray that we aren’t so unlucky as to be stuck in a car when they do! That’s exactly what happened when one dad picked his young daughter up from school one fateful day…
His little girl, brimming with excitement, couldn’t wait to tell him!
As a father, I asked my young daughter, “What did you learn in school today?”
She could hardly wait to tell me.
“We learned that boys are different than girls!”I looked in the rear view mirror but could only see her hair. My teacher said that boys have a thing that girls don’t.”
“Ah, yes, that is true,” I said, a little daunted. I couldn’t think of anything else to say, so we were quiet for a moment.
Then she said, “That’s how girls know that boys are boys. They see this thing that hangs down and know: that is a boy.” In my head I calculated the distance until we made it home. It already felt like an eternity.
“Did you know that boys swell up when they see a girl?”
My palms began to sweat.”I, uhhh, well…” I was desperately looking for something to say to change the topic.Then she asked, “Why do girls like boys to have this thing?”
What could I say? Hadn’t every woman asked herself this question at some point?”Oh, well… umm,” I stammered.
But she didn’t even wait for my answer because she had her own.”It’s because it waggles when they walk and then the girl knows that this is a boy and then she likes him. Then the boy sees the girl and swells up and the girl knows that he also likes her. Then they get married. And then they get cooked.”
The ending confused me but on the whole, she’d hit the nail on the head. As we arrived home she fished something out of her school bag and said, “I drew a picture of what we learned in school today. Do you want to see it?”
I wasn’t completely sure that I did, but I looked anyway out of curiosity. I had to sit down. In front of me lay, in all his puffed up, woman-enticing glory, was a crayon drawing of a large male turkey. His snood, the read thing that hangs down over his beak, the thing that the female turkeys find so irresistible, was magnificent. His tail feathers were standing tall and proud.My little girl got offended because I laughed so hard at her drawing, and I laughed until I cried. But when I told her that I loved the picture, she soon forgot about my laughter.
I will never get this picture out of my head.